A few days back, when I saw that mooney's post title was leeches.. I took a step back.. ahem!!!!!!! Well, not in the leech way she has described it.. but a leech nevertheless!!!!
I am talking about myself!!! I, me, myself.
Ever since I got married.. a good 4 years back.. I have become like this totally dependent person.. totally dependent on A.. a complete anti thesis of how I used to be (am exaggerating but what the heck) in terms of dependence.. I have become (kind of) of what i used to advise my friends not to be like!!! Little did I know!
I cannot go anywhere without him. Even if I hangout with my friends.. it usually is not over weekend (that is our time).. hate it when he goes anywhere without me!!!! Hated it when he found something he liked but didnt involve me!!!!!!!!!!!!! Possessive? You bet.
But I had become.. have become this clingy.. leechy (I know theres no such word, but goes well with clingy) kind of a person!!! I dont like doing anything on my own.. I think it all started when I sold off my car before getting married.. and it was own bright little idea (my poor little zen..sob sob) !!! On second thoughts, maybe that too wouldnt have helped!!
The context - my hubby and I have a weekend marriage ... our work hours are different... so it has become a pattern.. cant think of not spending weekend together.. sacrilege!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
About a month or 2 ago, I was really stressed because of work and desperately needed a break. But A was busy - besides work, there was a lot of running around to be done on the house front. I fretted and finally .. break didnt happen.. I was at work, he was at work and time went by!!
Sometime back A said - why do our breaks need to be together.. you needed a break desperately.. you should have just taken it!!! We dont need to be together everytime!! It is difficult and you should learn to chill on your own too... and I took a step back.. it had never ever occured to me I could!!! Which is weird.. because I used to run off on holidays with friends.. even alone to a friend another country.. I never used to wait!!!!!
But then I am a leech.. old habits die hard.. I havent done much on own in the past 4 years...
But I have decided that I will... maybe this and the project are tied together... maybe I will just go somewhere.. check into some hotel in goa alone and chill!!!! As soon as I find the courage.. someone pass the salt please!!!!