Its difficult.. to talk about whats happening.. words cant adequately describe what i feel, what i think .. these myriad of thoughts running through my mind...
Before i even make an attempt.. i got back from Bombay safe and sound yesterday.. i was in Bombay on wednesday.. had gone there to attend an event (official).. we were at ITC Grand.. little did we know of what was happening outside.. we came out at 11pm and suddenly these phone calls started coming in one after the other.. but till i reached the guesthouse at worli.. i did not know the extent of what had happened... my flight back to Bangalore was for the next morning.. i didnt sleep the entire night.. we watched TV till around 1.30 or so.. i tried to grab some sleep.. but to no avail.. i woke up at 2.30 and then finally gave up on sleep at around 4... was trying to figure out if flights were leaving.. coordinating with this other person who was at dadar and also was to fly out.. at that point in time.. yes, i was quite selfish.. i just wanted to be back home.. safe.
There are some people who came to the fore.. i actually was getting quite emotional thinking about this part.. i got so many messages, calls from friends in bombay on wednesday night.. worried sick bout me.. some old colleagues of mine from bombay, friends.. some friends from other cities who knew i was in bombay.. it was heart warming.. it may sound like a cliche.. but you know.. it made me moppy.. even now it does...this other colleague who was to fly out with me.. he was trying to reach all airlines to check.. and was constantly on the phone with me.. as early as 4.30 or so!!! The cabbie... Santosh.. even after knowing all that happened.. still came to pick me up at 6 in the next day.. a brave guy!!!! A person from the senior management team at my company staying at the same place.. who offered me a ride to the airport.. so reassuring it was at that point in time!!! The other chaps who were logging in and trying to get me the airlines numbers.. my roomie for the night who went on messaging me till i actually landed..
And the people from work at Bangalore.. i was absolutely zapped and amazed at the warmth.. esp bcz i am new .. my boss called me up to ensure i was fine.. and in fact had even told his relative in bombay to expect me just in case!!! The minute i walked in.. everyone.. and i mean everyone (right from friends to seniors, colleague, peons) spoke to me.. enquired if everything was fine.. checked if people knew about my whereabouts even before i walked in to office.. it was overwhelming.. it just makes me so emotional thinking about all this!!!!!
.. i just wanted to bring this up.. this entire thing.. what i have described above made me feel like i was wrapped in a warm quilt on a cold winter night... enveloped in a warm hug which would never make me feel cold again!!! I have never felt as safe, protected, reassured...i just had to say all this.. it may all sound very cliched and some idiotic, sentimental stuff.. but believe me but i really am not able to put into words all that i felt.. it was quite overwhelming!!!
The terror situation... i did not put in a post last night.. as i was watching the news.. constantly.. its weird... you may not agree.. since i was not in bombay.. i felt the only way i could be there and have anything to offer.... was to watch.. so not for an instant was TV channel changed.. i just felt my thoughts and prayers would be with all those people if i do that.. i felt i was with them... doing something else would just be so frivolous right now!!! They have gone through a harrowing time.. i do hope they locate all the missing people.. that they are alive and healthy!!
In a time like this.. brings out the best in people.. brings out these tireless, super human people.. the heroes...bystanders helping relative of victims by keeping an eye when they slept.. serving tea to these tired people...
The commandos, the police, the navy .. all coming together.. everyone united for a single cause.. to get people out alive... the heroes of our country.. i feel honoured to be a part of such a system!!
And media.. whatever said and done, i feel they have done a good job.. they are extremely brave to be standing right there and facing so much to get the news to us!!!
Of course, with all this comes insensitivities too.... insensitive people.. insensitive to this situation.. saying such things happen all over the world.. it may... but hey you...this is my country we are talking about.. saying things like.. these policemen anyway do nothing.. how can you say that man!!!!!!!! I dont understand.. its easy to sit in an AC environment and make armchair comments and critique everything being said and done!! If you think you are better.. then go there!!!
insensitive politicians ....soon recriminations will start coming in... pouring in,.. who was allowed to visit, who not etc etc..
insensitive news channels who talk about this as if there is a show going on.. journalists who ask questions like "your wife is missing.. feared dead.. what did you tell your young children."..
and of course the much talked about "the mumbai spirit".. a blanket statement which most of the times seems to be callous.. a phrase which seems to denote "yes these things happen.. but mumbai will bounce back".. yes it will.. but thats no excuse.. it always sounds like an excuse for everything that happens!!
I have so many things to say.. thoughts are whirring, tumbling in my mind.. maybe in the next post i will be more coherent !!