Sunday, December 14, 2008

Of weddings and receptions

Just attended a reception here at Bangalore. Went all guns firing.. i mean all decked up.. make up (i think this would be the first time post marriage that i even put on foundation.. second time actually).. why.. god knows.. reception was on account of my dad's old friends son.. we (the kids) dont know them that well.. basically me and husband just tagged along. for a free dinner!!! :) But anyway, we were there at 8 (party on at full swing).. in fact people were already on their way out.. and here i was .. afraid that we would be served dinner late.. we were too early.. but anyway, we took the perfunctionary photo with the bride and the groom.. posed.. sat till what we thought was respectable time to go hog (8.30 pm).. ate some insipid food... usually i am not able to eat too much at weddings however much i try.. maybe because theres so much food! And we were back home at 9.30!

This time thing is such a South Indian thing... in kerala.. there is a very weird system at marriages.. and people who are not used to it are often bemused by it.. like my husband!!
The mahurat is normally a half an hour time slot in which the wedding takes place.. extremely simple.. you blink and you miss the wedding.. now at least it stretches to half an hour.. at my wedding (which was in delhi).. many people missed the actual ceremony... as they came according to delhi standards!!! And once the ceremony is over.. there is a queue to meet the couple.. a long winding queue.. it goes like absolute clockwork.. flows like a symphony.. people go greet the couple on stage.. pose for a pic.. get off the stage.. go straight to the eating area.. eat, wash hands.. and leave .. by around 11.30am (please note i said AM and not PM) the only people around are the bride and the groom and the immediate family wrapping up.. its an extremely strange thing.. people just dont hang around.. i have never understood why.. is it because they need to go elsewhere or go home and sleep or what.. god knows!!!

And extreme contrast to this is the North Indian wedding.. time on the card..8.30pm.. god alone help you if you reach , let alone at 8.30 (as advised on the card), at even 9.00pm!! The poor people who reach.. need to wait. with their tongues lolling about.. attacking whatever little snacks come their way.. the minute the clock strikes 10.00, you can actually hear the baraat round the corner.. message travels fast.. there is a frenzy of excitement among guests.. a collective sigh of relief.. after a long period of starvation.. so basically as the baraat enters the wedding site (its already 10.30pm because they need to dance the entire way, block all the traffic.. otherwise no fun), and i really mean as the baraat is entering the place.. parallely the guests all rush to the dining area.. usually they open the food stuff once the baraat comes in.. stuff the jayamala, stuff the wedding, I am hungry ...or so the call goes!!!

Of course as a spectator, its good fun to attend the weddings!! As long as they are not too long.. But as bride and groom.. thank god it happens only once.. and thank god that in my case -
1) 2 marriages didnt happen (i am a mallu and my husband a telugu)
2) marriage happened the mallu way ..the blink and you miss way (apparently andhra weddings are extremely long)

As a bride, one thing nice , that you really enjoy, for sometime at least is that you are centre of attention.. which you regret precisely 5 mins post the ceremony starts.. the cynosure of all eyes.. tiring it is.. i got married in the delhi heat. silk sari.. gold.. gajra...garland. you get the picture.. i was literally falling off the stage..and of course the photographers.. the videographers.. you just want to kill them all.. esp the beauticians who insist on whitening your face... ostensibly for the video.. and you end up looking a person whose face has been freshly whitewashed.. thankfully for me this happened only during reception.. the face whitening bit.. and that too was in moderation unlike some friends of mine.. and the killer is meeting people.. i have never ever met so many people in my life.. but by the end of the day you kind become a pro at it..

the mantra being.. smile at people.. and mumble "uncle aunty kaise hain aap"... take the gift (i love that bit.. very materialistic!!).. thank them.. invite them for a photo..and then on to the next uncle aunty...

Life is tough.. marriages are not easy.. they keep such weddings / receptions to prepare you for it... for the life ahead...boss, now do you understand.. marriage is not a simple task.. receptions are just a precursor to it!!

I can happily say.. i passed the test.. the wedding/ reception bit..without losing my temper..actually come to think of it.. i did lose my temper ..

I was a bride 2.5 yrs ago.. eons ago.. hmmmm...advice anyone?

3 comments: said...

I like your blog.

Scarlett said...

I don't like North Indian wedding at all. Have attended too many in my family, my sister's being the latest. Thankfully, her baraat came at 7 & the entire thing was over by 1. By 2, we were home!! Think I'll write a post on wedding they are!! :P

Moonshine said...

@Carlos Thank you so much!!! Extremely encouraged to stick to it because of your comment!!! Extremely sweet of you! Thanks!!!

@Scarlett North Indian weddings are fun.. if you are a spectator.. you get to dance on the road.. block traffic.. when do you ever get to do all that!!!